I've decided that if I am ever going to become the "Mom I've dreamed of being" I should probably start taking the steps necessary for sticking around on the planet for a while. Almost every woman goes through the "Ughhh, I hate the way I look in pictures" moment...but surprisingly, I think a lot of us never realize that that's how we ACTUALLY look in real life!! I think that moment came for me today.
I clinically have low blood sugar, and for some reason, after I got that diagnosis two years ago, I suddenly saw it as an opportunity to go crazy with my sugar addiction! Since that time, I have gained nearly 30 lbs. and man is it obvious! Now, if you were to take away the pictures and mirrors, I would have naturally said that I haven't changed much...but I have, I was just in denial about it.
So day one of "becoming the mom" starts tomorrow morning at 830. I will walk into my office, and promptly empty my desk drawers of their toxic content into the trash bin. No more bags of Red Jelly beans (Yes, I said "Bags"--you know, Easter candy isn't available all year round, so I had stocked up for the long haul) No more Ziploc bag of chocolate chips (I am laughing at myself at this point...Who actually does that?! Chocolate chips in a desk drawer??) No more Zebra Cakes, and no more Cokes. I will not be asking our in office Barista (aka. Appointment Scheduler) to make me her famous hot chocolate with whipped cream, I will not accept the goodie bags or chocolate from patients and Imaging center Reps. I will stay committed to my plan, why? Because of her. Not for me, because I have tried that and failed miserably a hundred times. But if I want to be that awesome mommy, that I have dreams of becoming...then the first priority is staying alive, and healthy. So tomorrow marks day one of "becoming" for me. Immediate family and co-workers may want to get a helmet...this may be a rough ride for me and you both!
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